Ben Folds - Army

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Well I thought about the army

Dad said, "Son you're fucking high"

And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything

So I took my old man's advice



Three sad semesters

It was only fifteen grand spent in bed

I thought about the army

I dropped out and joined a band instead



Grew a moustache and a mullet

Got a job at Chic-fil-a

Citing artistic differences

The band broke up in May



And in June reformed without me

And they'd got a different name

I nuked another grandma's apple pie

And hung my head in shame



I know, I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay

Oh, I think I'll take it to L. A.

Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday



In this time of introspection

On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection

"God, please spare me more rejection"



'Cause my peers, they criticize me

And my ex-wives all despise me

Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels



I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army

© SONY/ATV SONGS LLC; FRESH AVERY MUSIC;




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