Cats - Mr. Mistoffelees

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You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees

The original conjuring cat

The greatest magicians have something to learn

From Mr. Mistoffelees's conjuring turn, presto



And you'll all say

"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



He is quiet and small, he is black

From the ears to the tip of his tail

He can creep through the tiniest crack

He can walk on the narrowest rail



He can pick any card from a pack

He is equally cunning with dice

He is always decieving you into believing

That he's only hunting for mice



He can play any trick with a cork

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste

If you look for a knife or a fork

And you think it was merely misplaced



You have seen it one moment

And then it is gone

But you find it next week

Lying out on the lawn



And you'll all say

"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



His manner is vague and aloof

You would think there was nobody shyer

But his voice has been heard on the roof

When he was curled up by the fire



And he's sometimes been heard by the fire

When he was about on the roof

At least we all heard that somebody purred

Which is uncontestable proof



Of his singular magical powers

And I've known the family to call

Him in from the garden for hours

When he was asleep in the hall



And not long ago

This phenomenal cat

Produced seven kittens

Right out of a hat



And we'll all say

"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"



Ladies and gentlemen

I give you the marvelous

Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, presto

© THE REALLY USEFUL GROUP PLC; FABER & FABER;




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