King Missile - I'm Sorry

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No, I never was in Vietnam

I never once dove into an empty swimming pool

I never let the carpet walk right out from under me

I never painted a house or a tree



I never did become an exotic dancer

Or a customer service representative

I never took the pulse of a dying duck

Or gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to a horsefly



In a way I suppose you could say

My experience is quite limited, for example

I never locked Oliver Cromwell in a brrom closet

While singing Waltzing Matilda



I never sawed a television in half

Although I once saw Wendy O'Williams saw a guitar

I never played a decent game of jacks

I never played poker with a toothless one eyed pirate



Who kept picking his teeth with a bowie knife

To distract me while his parrot looked over my shoulder

And told him what cards I had by using an elaborate code

Involving vomiting, chirping and sea shanties



I never bought a lamp, wait I did buy a lamp once

But I never bought a lantern or a lambskin profolactic

I never bought Lima beans or lime pudding

I never bought a lion or a Lionel Richie album



I never bought anything beginning with the letter "L"

Except lollipops, light bulbs and lettuce, and the lamp

I never layed down for a nap

And found the Everly brothers in bed with me

I never let a cyborg take out the garbage



I'm sorry I stole the radio, I did it

I sawed the legs off the periodic table

I re-elected the President, I did it

It was my fault, I farted in the church

I'm sorry I did many many bad things

And I am so sorry

© ROGER MURDOCK PUBLISHING DESIGNEE; WB MUSIC CORP.; MISC. MISSAL MUSIC; WARNER-TAMERLANE PUBLISHING CORP;















		
			



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