Kristin Chenoweth - If You Hadn't But You Did (From Two On The Aisle 1951)

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There he goes as usual, my man

Breaking my foolish heart

I really don't know what to do about him

I've told myself I've got to do without him



There he goes as usual, my man

Tearing my heart apart

He's made my life a mess

I've got to do this I guess



Goodbye Joe, from here I kiss you

Goodbye Joe, I hope I don't miss you



If you had been on the square

And had treated me fair

And we'd not had a tiff

If you had not said

I should go and jump right off

The nearest cliff



If you had stayed off the make

And you never had taken

To coming home stiff

If I had not smelled perfume

With a nasty unfamiliar whiff



I'm gonna miss you, baby

Things could've been teriff

Ah, what's the diff?



If you had not had the cheek

To stay out for a week

Saying, "Back in a jiff"

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



But you have

And you were

And you went

And you did

And so goodbye



If I had not seen you

Take Geraldine on the lake

In your flat-bottomed skiff

If you were not out with Sue

With your arms around her bare midriff



If I had not seen you pen sexy letters

To Gwen in your own hieroglyph

If you had not left me home

When had two seats for South Pacif



I'm gonna miss you, baby

You were too darn prolif

Ah, what's the diff?



If you were not such a hound

Who when game was around

Always picked up the sniff

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



But you were

And you have

And you went

And you did

And so, goodbye



If when I asked where you'd been

You had not cliffed my chin

With a beautiful biff

Hey, if I had not always found purple

Lipstick on your handkerchief



If you had not told me lies

And then looked in my eyes

With a smile beautif

If when I caught you with Kate

You had not said, '€œIt's of no signif'€



I'm gonna miss you, baby

And I could get specif

Ah, what's the diff?



If the best years of my life

Weren't spent as your wife

With no marriage certif

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't



If you didn't

If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



But you had

And then we coulda

And you didn't

Though you shoulda



If you didn't

If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't



But you were

And you have

And you went

And you did



And so goodbye

See ya later, Joe



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