And if one day I should become
A singer with a Spanish bum
Who sings for women of great virtue
I'd sing to them with a guitar
I borrowed from a coffee bar
Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
My name would be Antonio
And all my bridges I would burn
And when I gave them some they'd know
I'd expect something in return
I'd have to get drunk every night
And talk about virility
With some old grandmother
That might be decked out like a Christmas tree
And no pink elephant I'd see
Though I'd be drunk as I could be
Still I would sing my song to me
About the time they called me "Jacky"
If I could be for only an hour
If I could be for an hour every day
If I could be for just one little hour
Cute in a stupid ass way
And if I joined the social whirl
Became procurer of young girls
Then I could have my own bordellos
My record would be number one
And I'd sell records by the ton
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