Rodney Carrington - Dear Penthouse

Dear Penthouse


Rodney Carrington





Dear Penthouse: I’m a freshman at a small Midwestern university


And I never thought something like this could happen to me


When my teacher with the dynamite ass, asked me to stay after class


And she started to undress


I can’t forget the statement she made


If you drop you pants I’ll raise your grade





(Girl) Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were true until


I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl named Jill


We had a little too much to drink


I couldn’t believe what I was starting to think


So we headed to her tent, there’s nothing like eating out


Though the next morning my mouth still smelled like trout





Chorus


I’ve read every issue since 1974


The first two years behind the bathroom door


I poured through every Penthouse I could find


Even though my mom said I’d go blind


Dear Penthouse: I’m a seaman first class at an overseas naval base


It’s been seven long months since I’ve seen a woman’s face


When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue


And I locked the barracks door


Thanks to you I’ve gotten a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship


Chorus


Dear Penthouse: Doing sports on the radio has always been my job


I’ve never wanted a man until I noticed BOB


When we’re close I start to perspire


His little buns set my loins on fire


And I dream about the day he’ll say, “Chick” lets get undressed


Name and address held upon request






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