[Joe Budden - Verse 1] Something must’ve changed me, niggas might defame me But things that used to taint me, no longer seem to restrain me Strangely I’m no longer sad, mad or angry Shame-ably it pains me, feeling like this just ain’t me Mainly what do I tell all the people that thanked me Mainly those who ordain me, aside from can you blame me Motivation again was supplying me is no longer providing me Jason Williams something killed whatever was driving me Worrying less about the past more about the now Less about what I’m going through more about the how It’s for certain it’s been 30 years being fit for hurting Now I’m a different person with nothing to overcome in the mist of burdens For certain, got 6 figures in my sock drawer And honestly this year I expect to make a lot more It’s hard to live without a budget when life is corrupted In a house thats so peaceful that I’m trying to disrupt it Scream fuck it not because I have to but because I love it Which makes me as fake as the puppets that I speak of disgusted Without a paddle up shit’s creek Dig deep and see it ain’t life it’s just me So be warned as I’m putting on like I’m deformed Only so y’all can accept it as being my norm Maybe I quit working on me, maybe I given up Maybe I been lying to myself maybe I give a fuck.
[Chorus] It’s enough to make you black out, pull a mac out Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud Every day we playin cat and mouse as I watch it hoverin over my glass house It’s enough to make you spazz out, pull a mac out Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud Tired enough for me to pass out, tired of running from the black cloud.
[Joe Budden - Verse 2] I say it loud hoping someone can hear me clearly Trying to make my girl get it she don’t know that it’s very scary But she’s a nympho she can come barely near me She still want the God in her, think she’s mary mary The prettiest bitches just want to service me While niggas prettiest bitches wouldn’t get a word from me Some of you haven’t heard from me, some of you wouldn’t mind murking me Found that news funny likes its straight from Ron Burgundy These niggas ain’t never seen dough They can’t dream though I bump into ‘em in between shows People say I’m emo, what that really mean though? Is though the song can’t breathe I actually make it seem so I lost loved ones because they couldn’t deal with me Cherish whoever still with me though the marriage be killed in me Normally it’s just me and my lonely mind Everyone storm is different so this forecast is only mine Fans recognize my misery uplifted me Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me Maybe it’s serendipity, maybe it’s weighing on me physically Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me Been medicated, meditated Sedated, hated Character assassinated, all theses years I masqueraded Hard headed, if it was on my mind I had to say it Tongue on the devil’s pitchfork to see how disaster tasted Rap is fabricated, rappers are so exaggerated Wouldn’t be scared of the truth if they weren’t castrated Grab a mag, spray it, surrounded by people to shoot it before me Better unconditionally love my beautiful ugly Now lemme speak to who I cater to Would you love me to sang before my weeks were not favorable Promised to maintain being unique but relatable All while suffering from a disease that could do away with you Poetry on the beat, spoken-word for the masses Therapy over pro-tools, every word is on acid Consonants on Kush, every vowel is blunted Highly wanted this whole organization privately funded This is bigger than the Eiffle, this is alert to public Had a cop us by our tunnels and our bridges with the rifle Sentences meant to stifle, this is a man aching This is the dam breaking, contraband in the making This is panic unveiling, got potential but I never met it He be trying to come over, it seem like God won’t let it Either he never got my invite or he jus dismissed it But if all I’m hearing are the sounds of blackness, why am I pessimistic? You’ll never progress if you’ll never try All I ask, let every word I birth never die My wings spread, but when I’m at the sky Weather didn’t change like I thought and had me petrified.
[Chorus]
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